The Secret
by Leonara821
Summary: He's my brother's bestfriend. Just my brother's bestfriend. Or is he?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Homecoming

BPOV

I take in my old room as I unpack my stuff for the holidays. I haven't been back for the past year because of work. Starting out in a publishing company was a little hectic and there had been no time for me to come back. I realized this Christmas would be the best time to come back, boy was I wrong.

A soft knock sounded through my door. I look around to see Emmett, with a huge grin on his face, standing by my door. "Hey, little sis!" He greets me. I stand up so he can give me a hug. Apparently, it's the type of hug that lifts you off the ground.

"Put me down, you big oaf," I mumble as he tries to crush me. I give him a good smile and I chuckle, "I miss you, too, bro."

"So, listen, most of the crew is around tonight. We were hoping you'd hit the bar with us. Do you think you're up for it?" He sits down on my bed and plays with my old rubik cube. It feels nice that he was inviting me so I say yes. He sit up, "It's just me, Rose, Jazz and Edward Cullen. Do you remember him?"

Ah. Edward Cullen. Of course, I remember him. He's Emmett's best buddy back in high school. He's my...well, I'm not sure what we were. "Hmm, yeah. I do. I thought he's still studying. Med school, was it?" I ask him, low key phishing for information on Edward.

"He's still studying. It's his girlfriend. Wants to meet the Cullens," he tells me with a shrug. I feel my heart stop for a moment. Of course, Emmett wouldn't notice. He never knew. _No one knew_. I nod at Emmett and continue unpacking. I need the distraction.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lunch Hour

BPOV

Trigonometry was the worst period. Mr. Stanley sounded like a droning machine explaining angles. I watched the clock tick tock to lunch time, my favorite period ever. Once the bell rung, I ran down the corridor to the lunch hall. Emmett and Edward was already there at our table waiting for the rest. I sat across Edward when I got to them. I always sat across him so I could look at him and remember the way his copper hair caught the sunlight or the way his eyes lit up as he and Emmett talk about whatever it was they usually talked about.

Rosalie, my bestfriend, arrived at our table and started complaining about the other boys at our grade level trying to hit on her. She really stood out, though, with her swimmer's physique, beach blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She was everyone's dream girl.

"See, babe, if you just let me date you, I could intimidate them and let them back off," Emmett told her, "or we could just pretend, ya know." He gave her a wink.

"Ew, Em, stop hitting on her. She's my bestfriend, you know. It's a no-no to date your sister's bestfriend," I told him and then looked at Rose only to see her contemplating Em's offer. "Come on, Rose," I told her, "that's disgusting. I know him and I know you."

Edward started laughing at this point. "You know, Em, Jazz is going to give you a hell of a beating if you do that and I really don't want that 'cause her brother and I are good friends, too," he tells Em.

"Just tell him, we're just pretending," Emmett gave Edward a big grin.

Rose was still contemplating. It was never a good thing if she thought about it long enough. I kept shaking her, hoping she'd never thought of it. I breathed a sigh of relief as she says she'll decide another time.

Emmett gave a pout and I punched his arm softly to show my disapproval of his request and reaction.

"So, how about us, Bella? Wanna give us a try?" Edward asked casually. I thought he was serious. I felt butterflies in my tummy and I thought they could fly their way out of it at the rate that my heart was beating.

"No. No. No," Emmett chanted and Edward laughed again.

"See, bro. You wouldn't like it either. I was just kidding, Bells," he told Em, giving me a small smile. My heart dropped into my stomach. I looked at my food and started picking on it.

"Stupid git," Emmett tried to pull his head down for a nogging and as they made a mess around the table trying to get a hit on each other, I felt Rose start laughing. I had to start laughing, too, even if I didn't find it funny.

 **A/N**

 **Eep! I'm back! Or trying to be. Just trying to get back on it. Anyway, I posted two chapters already so you guys could tell me what you think? Yay! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Down at the Bar

"Bellaaaaa!" Rose shouts from her table, once I'm through the door. She gets up and runs to me and gives me a tight hug. I hug her right back. "God, I missed you so much," she tells me as she rocks us side to side.

I tell her I've missed her, too, once she lets go. She holds my face and asks me, "where have you been?" Emmett gives her a kiss on the forehead and orders us drinks and nachos.

I tell her about my job as we walk back to the table. I tell her how busy its been living in the city. She asks me if I have plans of moving back to Forks. I tell her I haven't thought of it, yet. I slide in our booth and give Jasper an awkward across-the-table hug. We chat about what I've missed. Jasper reports that he's already engaged. I found out it's one of the girls from our grade level back then, Alice. Just as he says this, Alice arrives at our table and sits by Jasper. I congratulate them and give Alice a quick hug.

It all happens fairly quick. Emmett comes back to the table with our drinks and the merry gathering continues. And then he comes through the crowd and stands by our table.

It's a blur when Emmett and Jasper makes a fuss of him, patting him and giving him a one-armed man hug. My view clears up. His hair stands up the same, copper and messy. His eyes shines the same, bright and cunning. He's still the Edward I came to know.

I look down and start inspecting my beer bottle. I don't want him to see me.

"Congratulations, Jazz and Alice! I hear arrangements are in order," he greets the newly-engaged couple as he sits across me. Jasper smiles proudly while Alice starts yakking our ears off about her plans. Apparently, she studies fashion design in Paris and she's only here for the holidays. Jasper didn't want to let her go, I guess.

"Edward, aren't you going to say hi to Bella?" Emmett asks. I swear I never hated my brother more.

God, 24 years old and I'm still a mess around him, like nothing ever changed.

He whips his head around to me and his eyes looks at mine and for a moment the table was quiet. I give him a slow awkward wave and he gives me his cocky smile.

"Bella," my name on his lips never changed, "it's great to see you again."

Rose started asking Alice again about her plans and she squeezes my thigh. I think she's starting to figure it out.

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 **A/N**

 **Thanks for the reviews! I've actually finished writing the story just now. I can't decide whether I should put it up all at once or if I should give 'em to you gradually. So? Watchathink?**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Lightswitch

I leaned by Edward's car as I waited for them to finish up football practice. I pulled my coat tighter around me. It's started to become chilly. I fiddled around with my phone looking for a playlist that could occupy me while I waited.

Edward came by, then, and opened the trunk, "Hey, Bells. Have you been here the whole time?"

I shook my head, "Nah. I hung out at the school library but even they have to close down."

"I'm sorry. Coach gave Emmett a hard time out on the field today. Captain's duties and all that," he unlocked the car and told me to get in. "You'll have to take the front seat. Em wants to doze off in the back," he said. I nodded and took my place up front.

We settled in the car while waiting for Emmett. He seemed to be taking his time so I decided to chat it up with Edward. I turn to him and ask, "are you going to miss Forks?"

He looked at me. He looks really beautiful, I thought. "Probably one thing," he said lost in thought as we looked at each other. I looked down because I couldn't take the intensity of his gaze. He tucked the hair that has fallen on my face behind my ear and softly runs his hand through my short locks.

We both jumped and repositioned ourselves. Emmett threw his duffle in the backseat and got in. "Geez, coach really took some from me. So if you don't mind, I'm going to settle in for the drive and I'd appreciate it if you just give me a few minutes to rest," Em lied down on the backseat as best as he could with his big build and all.

I glanced at Edward and see him grip the steering wheel tightly. He took some time to breathe before starting the car and driving off. He turned on the radio and none of us spoke the whole drive home. After he dropped Em and I off our home, I locked myself in my room trying to make sense of whatever that was in the car. I felt a smile on my lips. Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. It didn't sound so bad now, did it?

My phone dinged with a message.

Sorry about awhile ago... -EC

I felt my stomach eat itself. He was probably just tired and lonely, seeing as it's their last year in highschool. He was probably just frustrated with all his college applications and stuff, like Emmett.

I told him it was nothing to worry about and lied down on my front, burying my face in my pillows. Why did I think I had a chance with him, anyway?

A fast rap of knocks shook my door. I opened it sluggishly, bright blue eyes staring back once I do.

"Ugh, I never should've dated Royce. He tried to grope me awhile ago. It's over now," Rose ranted and planted herself on my bed.

I lied down next to her and told her, "You knew he was a douche even before. Why'd you even go out with him in the first place?"

"I don't know. He's good looking?" She laughed. "You know who's cute, too?"

"Hmm?" I thought of Edward again. I thought Edward is more than cute.

She giggles, "your brother." I looked at her with a little disgust.

"Come on, Rose," I groaned. It wasn't something I liked to picture in my head.

"What? He really is, you know. Football hottie and all," she said dreamily. I realized she really was into him.

"Just don't, you know, go all googly eyes and kissy kissy in front of me," I told her, sighing in defeat. If they were going to be happy together then who was I to deny them of it, as a sister and bestfriend? "And don't break up! That would be really awkward and I hate awkward," I buried my face in my pillows once more.

My phone dinged, again, with a message. I ignored it so Rose picked it up and of course, being bestfriends and all, she knew my passkey.

"So...," she started, "why is EC sending you a smiling emoji?"

I instantly sat up and took the phone from her. "He sort of ranted about being nervous on his last year in highschool when we were in the car and I caught most of it so yeah, I guess he was just being sorry about letting me hear it or thankful or something," I rambled off in nerves.

"Right," she said and then started fantasizing about my brother and her. I started fantasizing about Edward's pretty smile.

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 **A/N**

 **Mixed reviews on how I should post! I've decided I'll just post 1-2 chapters everyday. It's actually quite a short fic but still, I hope you guys like it! Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

 **Hello! Sorry for the hold up! I had to finish some stuff for school. Since I wasn't able to post yesterday, I'll be posting 3 chapters today.**

 **Again, I'm sorry.**

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Chapter 5

The Cullens

I'm sitting in the back of my brother's truck, looking out the window, seeing the trees pass by. We're on our way to the Cullens. I'm not sure if I'm excited about this or not. Mostly, I'm not ready to see Edward again but Emmett wanted to go to this barbecue thing with the rest of the old football team and Rose decided to go with Emmett, I have to go, as well.

"You alright there, Bells?" Em asks while driving. I take a peak at the rear view mirror. Rose looks at me sadly and says sorry. I shrugged it off telling them not to worry about a thing. This whole visit is really about the people I love and not me. I have to remember that.

We arrive at the Cullens, the house not changing a single bit. It feels like I'm 17 again. We march up to the door and ring the doorbell. Carlisle, Edward's father, greets us with big hugs with Esme, Edward's mother, following behind her.

Emmett and Rose goes on ahead to their backyard to greet Edward and the rest of the visitors. I fall back with Esme. She was the mother we never had.

"Oh, Bella," she hugs me tight, "you grew up beautifully." She looked at me from head to toe, "I love your outfit," she kisses my cheeks and I thank her. I double check myself and see if my outfit is truly in place as I hang my coat up. My red sweater was in place on top of a white button down and my dark jeans are unstained. I'm good. I dust my brown heeled ankle boots on their mat before entering the house.

Automatically, I join Esme at the kitchen to help her prepare for the feast. I start moving around as I tell her about my life in New York.

"I bet men are tailing you around these days," she giggles. I laugh at her suggestion and tell her there's only been a couple since I went to college. I couldn't tell her it was her son's fault.

"Ma, I can't find the bottle opener!" Edward shouts as he nears the kitchen. Esme leaves us as she gets what Edward needs. The atmosphere starts becoming heavy.

"Hi, Bella," Edward greets.

"Hey, yourself," I give him a small smile and swallow. My heart can't take it when I look at him.

He opens his mouth to say something and then stops. "I'm really sorry about what happened-," he starts.

I hold my hand up. Now is not the time to talk about this. "It's been years, Edward. Forget it."

He shakes his head and a short haired brunette comes barging in the kitchen.

"Oh, hey! I didn't know there was someone else in here," she smiles at me. "I'm Angela," she sticks out her hand to shake and I raise mine, showing that they were dirty with flour.

Her brown eyes were filled with mirth. She laughs and says, "it's great to meet you...," trailing off, not knowing my name.

"Bella," Edward tells her while looking at me, "Her name is Bella. She's Em's sister."

"I knew I recognized the similarity," she claps happily and hugs Edward, "sweetie, they're waiting for you outside. Said they want their beers now." I try to go back to what I was doing, not wanting to see their interaction.

And in perfect timing, Esme arrives, giving Edward the bottle opener. He and Angela leave holding hands. I pretend like it's nothing and continue moving around the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Milkshake

Since Em and Rose have started going out, Edward and I have been spending more and more time together alone. We've gotten to know each other through the times.

We were driving home, then, when he complained that he was hungry. I suggested we could drop by the diner before heading home and he agreed.

We slid into a booth located at the far end of the diner. He ordered for some burger and fries while I got myself a milkshake. We usually talked about the music we both realized we've come to love.

And then he asked, "Speaking of music for dancing, has anyone asked you to the dance?"

I laughed because who would and it's still towards the end of the year.

"What?" he asked me, chuckling, "what's so funny?"

"No one's going to ask me, Edward," I told him like it's obvious.

"Why wouldn't anybody ask you?"

"I dunno. Because I'm not anybody's type? Or maybe because I'm Em's sister?" I shrugged and played with the salt shaker.

Our food arrived and Edward took a bite of his burger as soon as the plate touched the table. I tied my short hair back before taking a sip of my chocolate milkshake.

"I fwik ya peutifoo."

I covered my mouth to keep myself from laughing and swallowed, "please don't talk with your mouth full. I didn't understand a word you said."

"I think you're beautiful," he repeated once he's swallowed his mouthful of burger.

The smile on my face faltered when I saw the sincerity in his eyes and I blushed from head to toe. I looked down, busied myself with the straw of my milkshake.

We were quiet after his remark, until he dropped me off my house. I told him thanks for the ride and he responded, "it was nothing. I really meant what I said earlier. I really do think you're beautiful."

I nodded and gave him a smile. Then, the unexpected happened. It was all too fast, he unbuckled his seatbelt, reached for my face across the console and caught my lips with his. I didn't know what to do then so I tried to push my face into his awkwardly, answering his kiss. He nibbled on my lower lip and swiped his tongue on it before pulling back and putting his forehead on mine.

I caught my breath for a moment, my heart racing in my chest. I didn't know what to say.

"You should probably go inside now," he whispered.

I nodded and pulled back from him.

"Maybe we can keep this a secret for now? I'm not exactly ready for Em to beat me just yet," he told me and I nodded again, speechless at what just happened.

I opened my door, wished him goodnight and left with a huge smile on my face. Edward Cullen just took my first kiss.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The Cullens Pt. II

Most of the people have left by this time. It's only just me, Em, Rose, Jazz and Alice who are left behind. We were seated around the living room talking about the holiday plans. I take the corner of the couch next to Rose and Em. Seeing as I'm with couples, they've all started cuddling with each other while I braid my long hair.

"I think we should go camping," Emmett suggests and everyone seemed to be excited about it. Except me. "What do you think, Bells?" Em asks. I tell them it's cool, figuring out as I really have no choice. Besides, it's not like we're always going to do it.

I tell them I'm going to the toilet but really I was going out. I pass by my coat to grab my lighter and pack and head of to the car. I decide I should walk a little into the woods so no one could see me and I do. I light one and take a hit. It's one of the stuff I picked up living in New York.

A throat clears behind me and I turn around to see. In all her beauty, my bestfriend has caught me smoking. I hide my cigarette behind my back as I acknowledge her presence.

"Come on, B. It's not like I can't smell it," she tells me. I shrug at her in response. "Why?" she asks.

"I don't know," I took a pull. "Things started becoming tough there," I flicked the cigarette from my hand, feeling as it was rude to smoke in front of someone who didn't know I do.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" she follows the cigarette as it falls on the ground and I step on it. I pick it up to throw it properly later on.

I don't answer. I can't lie to her.

"Did you really want to come back for the holidays?"

I tell her, "of course. I just didn't expect the whole crowd would be here, you know. It's just kinda overwhelming."

"The whole crowd or just Edward?"

I look down and sigh in defeat. She could always read me. Even better than my brother can. "It's just that you guys all seemed happy in there while I...I don't know, I'm a mess?" I smooth out my hair and wrap my arms around myself.

She comes near me and gives me a hug. "Is it true, then?" she asks, "that you and Edward had a thing?"

I nod and ask her, "how'd you find out?"

She shrugged, her arms still wrapped around mine. "I don't know. I've always had a hunch but I knew you weren't keen on dating your sibling's bestfriend so I shrugged it off."

It was quiet for a while before her next question. "To what extent was it, though?"

I just looked at her blue eyes and heard her gasp. I knew then that she understood.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," she explained, "I was so hung up on your stupid brother then that I failed to notice. I should've been there for you."

"It's alright," I tell her, "I should really stop brooding over it. I mean it's really so far before now that it's almost inexistent."

"You're still into him, though," she states not asks.

I nod, "I don't think I could ever forget him, you know."

She hums in understanding.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

 **Thank you for your reviews! And thank you for recommending this fic to your friends! I really do hope you like it that much and not get disappointed in the end. :)**

**So...this is my first lemon **huhu please don't throw anything at me** I hope it's alright. Tell me what you guys think after you read! :) Enjoy!**

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Chapter 8

Edward's Room

His parents were not home that day. Since we all had siblings and he was an only child, his house was a popular venue for our little parties. Emmett and Rose have locked themselves up in the Cullen's guest room, I was cleaning up the littered bottles and cups while Edward was bidding the other visitors goodbye. As soon as the door closed behind him, he came up to me and hugged me from behind.

"God, it took them awhile to leave," he groaned, turning me around in his arms, "I've been wanting to get you alone the whole night."

I hummed, giving him a kiss on the lips. He returned the kiss roughly. We were a little drunk at that point.

"Edward," I warned him with a giggle. "They might hear us," I said, pointing to the guest room.

I shrieked in surpised as he lifted me off the ground, bridal style. "I guess we just have to take this elsewhere," he told me. He carried me to his room and I laughed at his playfulness.

He put me on his bed and locked his door. He jumped on the bed and started kissing me slowly. Of course, I reacted perfectly. I felt his hands roam from my neck to my chest, squeezing a little as he dragged them lower. He stopped at the hem of my shirt, playing with the material as he kissed me. He lifted it up and my shirt went to the floor. I fumbled to do the same with him.

"Are you nervous, baby?" he asked.

I nodded.

"I've got you, Bella. If there's anything you don't want to do, just tell me to stop," he stopped what he was doing and looked at me sincerely.

I shook my head, "No, I want to do this."

"Fuck, Bells. You don't know how beautiful you are," he groaned as he stripped off the remaining clothing we had on us.

First, his hands were trying to touch every inch of me. Until he stopped there. It was so good, I didn't know what to feel. Then his mouth followed his hands' path and I was undone. He led my hand down his body to touch his member and I moved my hands up and down as he groaned.

He pulls back, slipping on a condom, "I have to be inside you, baby. Are you ready?"

I nodded and let him lead the way. It hurt but it felt good but it hurt. I really didn't know what to feel.

He stopped moving, looking at my face. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," I told him. I wanted him to move. I wanted to make him feel good.

He thrusted slowly, at first, in and out. Then his pace quickened. All I knew was that it felt so good.

"Baby, I'm going to come," he told me as he continued his moving.

I held his face and kissed him hard, "I love you."

He shuts his eyes as he finishes. He took some wipes from his bedside drawer and cleaned me up. I giggled at him and he kissed me on the nose. He cuddled me and whispered, "I love you, too," before pulling the blanket on us and falling asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

 **By the way, we're already on the second half of the story. :(**

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Chapter 9

Camping

I drop my backpack on the ground and stretch my back. We've found a clearing in the middle of the woods. It was a long walk so I slump, sitting on the ground. I took my water jug and drank as much as I could. The guys decided they should get logs and twigs for the campfire.

Alice and Rose are still chatting about the upcoming wedding. This left Angela and I to ourselves. She starts the conversation by asking about Edward's childhood.

"He tells me you guys were pretty close," she says. The butterflies in my stomach come alive. He talks about me, that gives me hope. But then I have to remind myself that I am talking to his girlfriend.

"Well, as close as we can get, I suppose. We went to school together and I'm his bestfriend's sister," I give a sad smile as I think of how far our relationship was from what I just described.

"Maybe you can help me think of a way to surprise him for our anniversary next month? He's a very private man, he never really tells me a lot of stuff about himself. I have to observe him to know," she relays, deep in thought.

I nod knowing it's the truth. I wrap my arms around my middle, afraid that my guts can spill at anytime now. I try to look for answer, "Well, um...I think he's a very simple man," I tell her but really what I wanted to say is that he's so extraordinary, intelligent, creative and beautiful.

Rose picks up on our conversation, distracting Angela about wedding details and giving me a knowing look. I thank her silently, pulling out my phone and earpods to listen to music while I wait.

Soon enough, I find myself helping out in putting up the tent. Jazz brought a tent for two while Em brought a bigger tent. It can fit five so, obviously, I have to take the 5th spot.

Rose exclaims, "Wow, Bells, you're packing it, you know," as she slaps my butt. I jump in surprise and turn around to laugh and hit her back. Everybody laughs at our banter except for Edward. I realize he's staring so I move closer to Rose, feeling more exposed than ever.

Once it's dark and the campfire has been lit, we all sit around the fire as Jazz and Alice serve us bread and cooked fish that the guys have caught earlier. The storytelling then ensues.

"Do you remember when you guys, Ed and Em, walked around the school like you were god's gift to women, when in reality you're both just little dipshits then?" Jasper asked while laughing. He was a level higher than Ed and Em in school.

We all laughed. "Oh, Angela, if you just knew," Alice tells her nostalgically.

"I really hated it when you'd prance around with your girlfriend of the month, then," Rose tells Em, "it was like I didn't exist. And I was right under your nose!"

I laugh, remembering that I only found out about Rose's appreciation for my brother later on in our friendship.

"Hey, I've always noticed you, baby," Em kisses Rose's forehead, "it's Bella who didn't want me around you."

Everyone 'awwed' and I looked at Edward. We share a moment as we remember the times we stole once Emmett and Rose started dating.

"How about Edward?" Angela asked excitedly, cuddling into his boyfriend some more.

"Oh, oh! I know," Em volunteers, "on our senior year, I once saw him sneak behind the bleachers with Jessica Stanley."

I choke on the food that I was eating. Everybody worries about me. I'm fine, I keep telling them and I heard Rose gasp from behind me. I look at her pleadingly and she nods quietly.

After I drink water to loosen my pipes, I look at Edward in panic. He only smirks at me like this is the exact reaction he wanted to get out from me.

"Did you lose your virginity to her?" Em probes.

Both Edward and I choke on our food this time. Angela assists Edward while Rose comes by my side to give me some more water.

"Are you feeling alright, Bells?" Em asks me and I nod vigorously, hoping to take his attention away from me.

Edward pats his chest, "Can we not talk about my virginity or past sex life?"

Emmett laughs out loud, "It's just that you're the 'I'm waiting for the right person' kind of guy and you never told me who you lost it to."

"Let's just say I lost it to someone special," he says while giving me a look.

I look down and finish my food quietly. I only have a bottle of beer after dinner then I decide to sleep early. I don't think I can take anymore of the reminiscing.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Bleachers

"Here, wear this," Edward handed me his hoodie. It fits huge on me so when I put up the hood, it barely shows my face. He pulls me across the field and behind the bleachers.

We laughed as we got there and he tickled me mercilessly. He caught me in his arms and whispered, "you have the most beautiful laugh ever."

"You have the most beautiful eyes ever," I retort back.

"No, you do."

We banter back and forth, sounding like the cheesy type of couple I never really liked. But it felt good to be with Edward. It went on until our touches and kisses were rougher. After quietly finishing together, I smoothed down my skirt and fixed the top of my shirt. I looked at him as I slipped on his hoodie again.

"Are we going to tell Emmett, yet?" I asked at the same time he said, "I've been accepted to the UCLA."

I gave him a big smile, "Congratulations!" and a big hug.

He smiled his warm smile and told me thanks. But then I started to feel the severity of the situation. He's going to leave me. But I didn't wallow in the idea. I was happy that he was pursuing his dreams to become a doctor.

"I was hoping we could keep it a secret for some more time, I'm not ready to share you just yet," he told me as he tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear.

I nodded because how could I resist when he's looking at me like that and talking sweet.

"Oh, Eddieboy! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Emmett bellowed just out front of the bleachers.

We pulled apart instantly. I put up the hood over my head and face.

"Round the back of the field, go!" he instructed, leaving a kiss on my forehead.

Once I was back in the school building, I stashed the hoodie in my bag and looked for Rose. I found her by our usual hangout spot by the school parking lot. I caught my breath as I sat next to her.

She looked at me questioningly and then her eyes widened, "Oh my gosh, you have to spill, Bella!"

My eyes widened in return. "What are you talking about?" I asked her nervously.

She pointed at my neck, "you have a hickey!"

I gasped. Automatically, my hands tried to cover as much of my neck as they can. I let go of my super short pony tail, as if my short crop could ever cover it. I looked to Rose for help.

She tsked as she rummaged through her bag's contents for her make-up. She dabs a little of concealer on it to cover it up. "Are you ever going to tell me about it?" she asked while dusting some powder on it.

"Just...give me some time. I'll tell you soon enough," I told her sadly. I wanted to share it with her, I did. I just couldn't.

"Okay but you have to promise you'll tell me. Pinky promise," she said raising her pinky. I locked my pinky with her excited to tell her about it soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**

 **4th to the last chapter!**

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Chapter 11

Camping Pt. II

It started off pretty good. Rose and I were having a girls night out at the bar, like we always do. We were joking. We were talking about boys and we were jostling. She put her arm around my neck. I know we always do this, play rough. But this time, it didn't feel right. I played along, knowing she could never. We're best friends. Then she pulled her arm tighter around my neck and I started to panic. I start trying to catch my breath and pulling her arm away. She wouldn't move. I start to try screaming to the people in the bar. I need to breathe. I can't breathe. I can't fucking breathe. My bestfriend is killing me. I can't fucking breathe.

"Bella!"

I gasp for air and open my eyes. I gasp for as much as I can. I realize two green eyes looking at me with their eyebrows pulled together. I scramble upright and reach for the owner of the eyes. I pulled him to me and started crying quietly. I couldn't breathe and he saved my life. It was just a dream.

I pulled away realizing what I was doing. I realize his girlfriend was right next to him on the other side. Stupid fucking huge tent.

"I'm sorry," I swallow and look down. I run my hands through my hair, dry my face and pat my pockets. I don't have to get them from my bag. I put my boots on in haste. Stupid me. I crawl out of the tent and sit on a log. I light up a cigarette and take a hit.

I can hear rustling from behind me so I turn to look at what it was about. Edward's coming out of the tent with two bottles in hand. "I didn't know you smoke," he says, handing me one.

I shrug and continue smoking, looking at the stars and trees. I don't know what to tell him. I don't exactly know why I felt this way, why I had that dream.

"Hey," he sits next to me and bumps knees, "you can tell me anything. Are you alright?"

I look at him, really look at him. He looks so fucking beautiful. Still fucking beautiful. Especially under the moonlight. I thought after all these years, I'd realize he's the ugliest man on the world and boy, was I wrong. He continues to look at me, waiting for an answer.

"I'm fine. Just a little peachy," I give him a sad smile. I took a swig of whatever the bottle contained and bite my lip. Beer. I raise it to check the label. "Huh, tough choice."

He drinks some, as well, "I thought you might need it."

I nod in response and take another hit of my cigarette, dabbing it on the ground as I finish and tossing it in the trash bag after. It was quiet for a while before Angela started calling his name.

He looks at me as he responds, "I'll be right there, sweetie." I think that was pain in his eyes. I'm not sure but he didn't look happy for a moment there. He gives me a tight hug before going back in the tent.

It takes me some time and a couple more cigarettes before I feel sleepy again. I decide to go back to the tent to sleep. I look at Em and Rose, my heart breaking and feeling sorry that I had that dream about Rose. I love her with all my heart. She was the best for my brother. I let my eyes drift to Edward and Angela. They look cozy together, tangled in their sleeping bag. Before a pit starts forming in my stomach, I zip myself up in my sleeping bag and turns my back from the others willing sleep to settle within me.

In the morning, I avoid Edward. I didn't really sleep well after the dream. I throw my long locks up in a pony tail and tell the others I'm going for a run. I start off really fast. I want to expel the frustration, tasting the sweet chilly air as I breathe in and out.

"Bella! Wait up!" he calls behind me. I stop in my tracks and catch my breath. I lean by a tree as I watch him come nearer.

"What do you want, Edward?" I ask him.

"I want to talk," he looks at me sadly.

"I thought you didn't want to from the way you left."

"I'm a coward, I'm sorry. Was a coward, still a coward," he says it like it's a curse. I don't say anything so he continues, "I didn't know what to tell you. I knew I had to leave. I knew I had to leave you."

"We could've tried! We could've fucking tried, Edward!" I cry this out, "I fucking loved you, Edward. I would've done anything for you. Even put up with the distance if I had to but you never gave me a choice!"

He looks at me, at loss for words, "I...I'm sorry."

"I thought you loved me. You told me you did and now, you tell me that you left me, admitting you're a coward for it, because you didn't know what to tell me?" I can't understand. I don't. "I lived the past few years with a heavy heart. I couldn't find a single guy that made me happy. I tried to look but there was no one. Because you didn't even give me a proper goodbye. It was all I wanted, then. It was the least you could've done."

Tears are now falling silently down our faces.

"I never told anyone. Not even Rose nor Emmett. I kept us for you. My first love was a fucking secret! It wasn't even something to be ashamed of," I told him, "unless, I was something to be ashamed of."

"No, no, no, Bella," he came rushing to me, pulling me into his arms. I try to resist but it's futile. "I wasn't ashamed of you. I was just scared of Em. I was worried he might pull us away because he didn't like me for you."

"It still doesn't equate to what you did," I whisper.

He peppers my face with kisses, "I'm sorry. I came back for you, you know, but when I did, you were gone. You were off to uni and your dad said you weren't coming back for a year. I thought then that you were done with me. But I looked for you. I looked for you in every girl I met."

He kisses me softly on the lips. The only sound we can hear is a soft gasp a few meters from us. We turn to look but it's too late.

Angela's retreating form was going back to camp.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Goodbye

We drove around a little longer that day. I was nervous. I thought he didn't want me anymore and just didn't know how to say it. But that night, he sneaked in through my bedroom window and we made love. He told me he loved me again and again. I thought we were happy.

I woke up that morning with a smile on my face but I was alone in my room. I shrugged it off, thinking he just went home to freshen up. I ran downstairs and gave my dad a kiss on the cheek because I was just too happy.

"You're quite cheerful today, sweetheart," my dad smiled at me. can

"I'm happy," I told him. I chuckled as I finished all my breakfast. I'm going to call Edward after breakfast, I decided. Maybe today, I finally shout it on top of the tallest building in Forks.

I tried calling his cell but it was out of reach. He probably forgot to charge it again, I thought. So I called the landline.

"Hi, Esme! Is Edward around?" I greeted.

"Hey, Bella! You just missed him. He left a while ago for LA," she told me sadly.

"LA?" I repeated like I didn't hear it loud and clear.

"Yes, sweetie. Did you need anything from him? I can deliver a message once he calls," she suggested.

But I couldn't believe it. He didn't even say goodbye.

"Bella, are you still there?" Esme asks.

"Oh, yes. I just thought I forgot my old notes in his car," I told her shakily. I swallowed, "I've found them anyway, thanks."

I ended the call before Esme could tell me goodbye. I hurriedly ran up to my bedroom, locking myself inside. Why would he just leave?

I couldn't eat right for months after he left. I didn't tell Em and Rose about it. Besides, Em has moved to Seattle soon after Edward left for college. Rose didn't try to get it out of me anymore. I think she picked up that I dated a senior but that was all she could tell.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Aftermath

The camping trip ended earlier than it should. I've locked myself in my old room since we came home last night. I guess, I fell asleep crying.

I wake up with the sunlight on my face. I take a bath once I realize I haven't freshened up since we came home. My dad comes in my room a few minutes after I dress up for the day, basically in my pajamas.

I run to him for comfort. What have I done?

He pats my back as I cry. "Rose is downstairs. She wants to see you," dad tells me. I nod my head and he goes back down to let Rose in.

"Hey, Rosie," I greet her with a sad smile, "I guess I'm an official homewrecker now." I sit on my bed and take one of my pillows to hug.

She rolls her eyes, "well, they weren't married yet. So technically, no." She sits next to me on my bed. "Angela left town and Edward...," she tells me, "Edward is with Emmett having a talk."

I nod at her.

"I think he's still in love with you," she whispers.

"I'm still in love with him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"So...was that hickey, you got one time, from him?" she smiles sheepishly.

I chuckle, "yeah."

Rose giggled, "Oh my god! Bella and Edward sitting on a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

"Very mature, Rose," I shake my head.

"I just realized, Angela looks like you back in highschool with her short hair and all," Rose looks at me funnily. "Holy shit, he's really not over you!"

"Rose, I really don't feel good about what happened," I whine.

"Yet."

"Rooooooose."

"Okay, okay," she laughs, "I'm sorry. 20-second hug to lift the spirits?"

I scoot to her and we hug much longer than 20 seconds.


	14. Chapter 14

**LAST CHAPTER! **yes, it's that short****

* * *

Chapter 14

New Year's Eve

Our families decided that New Year's Eve should be spent at the Cullens since they had space to accommodate a small party. The Hales (Jasper and Rose's family) were there. Alice's family was there. And my family was there.

I'm more nervous about seeing Edward today. I haven't seen him since the camp. I think Emmett and my dad told him to stay away. But, yeah, he hasn't come to visit me since.

I greet everyone with a smile. A new year is coming along, I should reconcile with my past and start fresh. Since it's now more or less clear with me and Edward, I feel like I deserve a good start again.

I went to the kitchen to help out. I decided I should help Esme cut up the fruits for dessert. I took an apple and started my job. It was pretty quiet. I didn't know what to tell Esme, to be honest. I didn't know up to what extent she knew.

"Bella?" she called out softly.

"Yes, Esme?"

"I don't know what happened between you and my son, for that I am sorry. I'm sorry on behalf of my son and what he did to you. I just want you to know that I love you like you were my own and should you need...motherly advice, I would gladly give it to you," she holds my face lightly and looks at me sincerely. I see Edward's eyes in her.

"Thanks, Esme," I smile and hug her. A few tears fall down her face.

"Oh," she dabs the corner of her eyes, "I have to clean this up," she chuckles as she turns around to go the washroom.

I was back to chopping the fruits when Edward comes in the kitchen and searches the fridge for a drink.

"Hey," he greets me with a small smile. He takes a beer bottle and pops it open.

"Hey, yourself," I reply.

He leans on the fridge and watches me slice up the fruits. "When do you leave for New York?" he asks.

I count and tell him, "In a week. Why?"

"Will you go out to dinner with me?"

I stop whatever I'm doing and look at him. I want to know if he's serious.

It takes me a few seconds to take in what he just asked. "Are you serious?" I try to sound in disbelief but I couldn't hide the smile in my voice.

"Yeah," he shrugs and runs his free hand through his hair.

"Um...okay," I tell him.

"So that's a yes?" he asks hopefully.

"Yeah," I said as I nod my head, smiling brightly.

Dinner started soon right after. Everyone seems happy. Even Edward looks to be in a better disposition. I enjoy the meal and the champagne and for once, thankful that I came home for the holidays.

The countdown has started and the couples have started pairing up. I pull my coat tighter around me as I walk out into the backyard watching the fireworks go off in the sky.

3...

I smile to a new year.

2...

I can't wait for that date with Edward.

1...

I hope for a good year.

Happy New Year!

A kiss on the cheek and I turn around to see green eyes staring brightly at me. I pull him to me and hug him tight, "God, I missed you!"

"I missed you, too, Bella. Happy New Year!"


End file.
